:: BïtS 'N' PiëCÉS ::

sabato, aprile 30, 2005

:: candle in the wind ::

esophagectomy... for ca esophagus...

chemo... terminal stage breast ca...

radiotherapy... prostate ca...

resections... ca colon...

ca is just littering the wards, literally. everyday, i could probably 'clerk' at least 2 patients with ca. probably more if i were more diligent. but that's not the point. the point is, these patients come and go, we talk to them, build a short-term relationship with them, and off we go, back to our lessons, tutorials and our own private lives, seemingly without a care, with a vague remembrance of yet another patient being ravaged by the much feared disease. they are left, with the awful truth about their health, and possibly, a more significant memory of a person in white lab coat talking to them, a particular doctor who've done much for them and their family, and perhaps the surgeon who had successfully 'taken out' their tumour.

the point is... yes i'm trying to get to it...

i don't believe that we can really really understand what the patient is actually feeling unless we've experienced the same thing as them, or, if a similar misfortune has befallen one of our own - family or friends...

lastly, i think these patients can sense if we really empathise or merely sympathise or worse, patronise them. the worse a person could do is to pretend to empathise/sympathise when they clearly don't. if you don't , then don't do it. cos those who suffer can spot that a mile away.

Dopey @ 12:08 AM | 0 comments

lunedì, aprile 25, 2005

:: SIAN ::

i think when i'm unfulfilled with life (or school), i tend to blog much much less. right now, i'm feeling disappointed and disillusioned with some stuff that i used to be inspired by that it has taken my appetite off blogging...

oh talking abt appetite... here's a mean joke.
i was in this clinic translating for a foreign doctor, he asked me to ask the patient 'does he have epatit?'
which i misunderstood as whether the pt has hepatitis... therefore, i asked for hx of gan1yan2... the answer was no for at least three patients... until at the fourth patient, i asked the pt for loss of appetite (since i AM a medical student, it is sometimes ridiculous to ask the doc what he wants to be asked, since i SHOULD know) then i told the doc, no, the patient has no loss of appetite. doc said: oh, good epatit? good good!

u laughing already? if not, nvm, i'm too surrounded by pple WITHOUT a sense of humour (grp mates excluded) that it's a miracle i'm blogging that.

today was 'da bluez' for us... monday blues and cuz it's BLUE DRESS DAY! oooh! we all wore blue!!! tomorrow is 'GRASSY GREEN'! <--- this is what we have to resort to doing to lighten up our days!!!

Dopey @ 10:14 PM | 0 comments

domenica, aprile 24, 2005

:: i'm a sheep i follow the crowd! ::

BAAAAA!

Your dating personality profile:

Liberal - Politics matters to you, and you aren't afraid to share your left-leaning views. You would never be caught voting for a conservative candidate.
Stylish - You do not lack for fashion sense. Style matters. You wouldn't want to be seen with someone who doesn't care about his appearance.
Adventurous - Just sitting around the house is not something that appeals to you. You love to be out trying new things and really experiencing life.
Your date match profile:

Practical - You are drawn to people who are sensible and smart. Flashy, materialistic people turn you off. You appreciate the simpler side of living.
Adventurous - You are looking for someone who is willing to try new things and experience life to its fullest. You need a companion who encourages you to take risks and do exciting things.
Shy - You are put off by people who are open books. You are drawn to someone who is a bit more mysterious. You want to draw him out of his shell and get to know what he is all about.
Your Top Ten Traits

1. Liberal
2. Stylish
3. Adventurous
4. Outgoing
5. Funny
6. Wealthy/Ambitious
7. Practical
8. Big-Hearted
9. Sensual
10. Intellectual
Your Top Ten Match Traits

1. Practical
2. Adventurous
3. Shy
4. Stylish
5. Funny
6. Intellectual
7. Athletic
8. Traditional
9. Sensual
10. Big-Hearted

Take the Online Dating Personality Quiz at Dating Diversions

Dopey @ 9:57 AM | 0 comments

venerdì, aprile 22, 2005

:: HL day ::

the LOOOOOOOOOWS:
- trashed at tutorial... would have been better had there NOT been a misunderstanding... we're always wrong... :(
- igniting HIS passion (for teaching) is like using green wood to light a fire
- the stooopid grp spewing vulgarities left, right and centre in the MSL
- a daunting 40 articles to sieve through AND review

the HIGHS:
- my two wonderful grp mates who've improved my life from the 18th level of hell to somewhere around the 10th...
- 'josephine's' not-very-secret but VERY ardent admirer
- stan's graceful drop at M&M
- dr C's delivery, oooh yea, so now who's her replacement?
- dr S's hello, after all, it sure is precious, it's about the only one we get (mostly)
- my relevation! i think i know why why why... some people make such great 'bosses' coz of their passion for their job, others... u do the math!

Dopey @ 10:50 PM | 1 comments

martedì, aprile 19, 2005

:: newsflash! ::

dopey will soon be changing her nick to SGH-jiangshi...

wenky's an emu!

we shall now call stan 'jack mcfairyland'...

i'm so tired, my nights and days have merged in with dreamland...

i miss A&E dreadfully! i would gladly do even the weekend night calls if i could switch to that department!!!

Dopey @ 9:36 PM | 0 comments

domenica, aprile 17, 2005

:: A & E Department doctors ::

Just for the rest who's blur from my past postings, we refer to this A&E posting as Emed posting. (emergency medicine) and the ED means (emergency dpt). before i started this posting, i was extremely excited and apprehensive. to me, A&E doctors were probably going to have tempers as quick as their hands & minds. i found myself wrong, especially regarding the formal. They are definitely a bunch of super smart people but they are uncannily humane and considerate. able to offer comfort in both physical and emotional aspects. i thought that they would find us, over-zealous/gong-gong medical students a bother, or an obstacle in the already tiny ED, yet, they welcomed us, made us feel like we belonged and for me at least, i felt tt i could be directly involved in care of the patients at one point or another. they were not irritated with our lack of knowledge nor did they chide us for stupid answers (unlike some docs in other dpts), no one was mean, no one shouted at us (no one shouted at the patients or their relatives either), no one shooed us away like pesky mosquitoes. For that, i have the greatest respect for them. And it's inspired me to consider joining this group of tough, optimistic and wonderfully cheerful people.... only, I just don't think I'm good enuff.

What i like about Emed: you get to see a variety of cases, ranging from severe burns/heart attacks/hypoglycemia to things like um... ear wax. it's so varied, i get to see things from all specialities and it's a challenge to be able to find out what the problem is. what is also very satisfying is the ability to bring relief to patients, mostly from their breathlessness, chest pains... i get to do some medical stuff... and also some surgical stuff, eg. put decompression needle for tension pneumothorax and chest tube insertion, intubation and so on... i wouldn't consider a career in gs (general surgery) or surgery, it's too tough, and i guess, it might get boring after some time. i wouldn't mind a career in the medical side, but it would mean i rarely get to do procedures, and i would really miss that, i like to work with my hands. so... emed seems to offer a good balance of both. In Emed, also get to see super exciting things, but basically i think it offers short term rewards of seeing your patient stabilised or relieved.

What i don't like about Emed: there's no long term contact with the patient, thus, your patient could just pass away the next day and you might not know it. there's no seeing how the patient is eventually managed in the wards... in short, your 'relationship' with the patient and his family only lasts as long as the patient is in the observation ward. another things is that you're not involved in the definitive treatment of the patient, (especially in the case of chronic illnesses). and of cuz, the working hours are pretty chaotic. but hey, i'm not a person who loves routine either! ;)

Dopey @ 1:56 AM | 0 comments

sabato, aprile 16, 2005

:: ambulance run - hell of an exciting day! PART III ::

third case: hypoglycaemia... doc was great, had set the drip and got dextrose running and the old man was alert and actually rather TALKATIVE in the alpha by then... that was when we almost had a concurrent mass casualty case - eh hem... total of 5 casualties - driver, H, sam, sami, patient and i... cuz... the brakes... MALFUNCTIONED... we couldn't break while turning the corner from the AYE to NUH... i think that was when the air horn was turned on... (lolz, i guess it'll be safer for other cars to get out of our way while we careened along...) boy... it was adrenaline-pumped...

back at the station, run was temporarily called off... soon they got a replacement alpha... and then i helped to move all the 'barang-barang' over... unearthed cool equipment, including a maternity set, which triggered off sam (he's very very talkative) and decided to give us the gory details about the baby he helped deliver... then we unearthed some vests and they looked really cool... hehe... then this really stylo-mylo guy on a motorbike came pass... he's the 4**FR... means the fast response pple.. .they'll be called when there's a case that's so serious it requires help asap... turned out that stylo guy is sr pm's husband... ooo... sam was trying to dig out the love story when the funny out-of-tune siren went off again!!!

fourth case was pretty stupid... or rather the kid was really irritating... secretly, we were glad when the walkie-talkie fell on his head! ha! he was making so much noise and screaming as if the blood pressure cuff could kill him or sth. duh.

at the children's ed, i met a cross-eyes doc... it was really uncomfortable to look at him...

heh i got off run early! hehe nice paramedic shooed me off... i guess she didn't want risking another ankle injury, and having to send me to ED! lolz...

hmmm at the end of the run, i can say, i've definitely developed the utmost respect for paramedics... and i think they're one of the groups of pple who are least recognised for their courage and effort to help others, especially in the face of danger!!!

Dopey @ 9:33 PM | 0 comments

venerdì, aprile 15, 2005

:: ambulance run - hell of an exciting day! PART II ::

At the clinic:
Sr pm almost mistook the doctor for the cleaner, apparently the doctor (a very nice one too) was hovering and being very very concerned for the patient, Sr pm admitted she almost wanted to say, 'auntie ah, thank you'... i would say, i wasn't far behind either... She was really sharp and the first thing she said was, hypocount how much?
Doc: oops...
so we did it in the alpha... i did the GCS too... and oh my... it was like E2V1M4... standby case!!!
Looked like a stroke, eventually at the next time i went to hotel 6, it was confirmed to be a massive MCA stroke! poor lady!

i was very disturbed by this incident at the ED... there's this doc, i shall call him SD (for shuai4 doc) (PS: i lurve his voice, sooo charming... )
SD: med student? show me her relatives...
me: ok, this way...
relatives (husband, pt's mother and pt's brother): clusters around, looking very worried... and scared... and clueless... they don't look like they speak english well...
SD: your wife is dangerously ill, can you tell me about her medical history? what medical history?
relatives: er er... HUH....
SD: diabetes? hypertension? when she started giddiness? where did ambulance pick her up from?
relatives: clinic...
SD: which clinic? polyclinic?
relatvies: no no, clinic
SD: hospital? she went to other hospital?
relatives: no, no, clinic... private clinic...
SD: oh, u mean GP... next time be succinct with your answers...
me: *eyes bulging, thinking, u need to re-do yr cofm posting...*
relatives: ....
SD: she works?
husband: (looks VERY clueless)
mother: (looks at SD like he's from outerspace)
brother: yes she works... cleaner, yesterday also working.
SD: ok, i'll appraise you of her condition, we'll run some scans and tests, right now she's dangerously ill, i'll appraise you soon. (then he leaves, with a dashingly sweep of his arm or dunno what)
me: *appraise?!?!*
finally, i decided to retake the history from the relatives using SIMPLE singlish (and boy, i found out some salient points too!), and explained that the doctors were doing some tests for the pt and that if they had any questions or worries they could let the nurse know, and meanwhile, take a seat at the waiting area... and that the SD will come and tell them about the pt when the results are out...
relatives: ah, ok ok... thank you very much.

To be continued...

Dopey @ 12:15 AM | 0 comments

giovedì, aprile 14, 2005

:: ambulance run - hell of an exciting day! PART I ::

just some snips...

7.45am... pandomonium at the bukit timah fire station... a splatter of paramedics running up and down the place, lugging their heavy blue bags for what they call roll-call... but more like a grp gathering (of the senior paramedics only)... meanwhile, i'm told to wait in the EAS library/activity room... which consists of: a huge panasonic tv (that does not work), 2 dusty cobwebbed fans, 4 dirty mirrors distastely arranged in a diamond shape, 6 discoloured chairs, um... interesting gum spots on the cemented floor and window panes that were falling apart... it is a really really run down place, i've never been in such an ulu place for ages... however, let's not get carried away by the sheer ulu-ness of the place... btw, the toilet is damn disgusting, it actually smells of RUST! and um, it's like one of those toilets in china la...

8.15am: my grp's senior paramedic (really really pretty lady, she's malay, but looks v ang-moh) came and did some introduction, apparently our alpha (ambulance) went on a 730 RTA call.. (damn, missed it) and wasn't back yet... alphas 4** and 4** go to their respective outposts at cck and bt batok... we're holding the fort now...

8+ to 9 am: introductions all around in the office... the 2 NS medics... lol... they look so young, it made me feel a bit out of place... but then they are all very friendly and funny people, so the ice was shattered in a matter of seconds... senior paramedic and ns medics take turns to make 'sarcastic digs' at each other... me included eventually... erm...

Sr pm (paramedic): Hey gal, r u local?
me: oh nooo, wht u gonna say... CHINA?
Sr pm: ya.... u're not issit? but yr complexion so nice leh...
me: hehe ok all forgiven...
Sr pm: u from hwa chong rite?
me: yeah... u identified my 'cheena' look huh...
Sr pm: hehe yea.... and plus u live at bt panjang mah...
Sr pm: let me introduce myself, i'm the one who looks like an ang-moh and these are S and S, my two cannot-make-it medics...

9.15am:
Sam: eh, so quiet....
DING DING DING...
All of us: wey, keep your mouth shut la! (apparently, Sam's the medic with this nickname... that implies that everything horrible/bloody/busy happens on his runs... it's supposedly a misfortune to do runs with him, but fortunate for a medstudent though)

call one: chest pain...
ooh, i got to auscultate, erm and then sr pm asked me put which traige and then we filled up the yellow form... at the end of which she put my name down as well, so that to quote her, 'if anything happens, we all go down together la'... *green faced dopey*

back to station...

Sam, the-one-with-precognitive-powers, persuaded me to have a ridiculously early lunch... (at 1045am) because he felt that in one hour's time, we would start a non-stop kinda of run... he WAS RIGHT!

10.30am: call two... woman with low BP cannot move...
To be continued...

Dopey @ 11:56 PM | 0 comments

martedì, aprile 12, 2005

yesh, wenky u r right!

i missed the part tt said: The "Troupe Fantastique" - eight distinct voices from the medical field.
ie. lingualnerve.com is a combi blog... HOW COOL IS THAT!

i can't believe i missed it, it's like a gynaecomastia dancing in front of me and me missing it?
or like one of those M patterns in ECG tt i dunno y i keep missing... perhaps the V5/6 leads are in my blindspot. acks!

PS: http://www.lingualnerve.com/profiles.php
read this, i bet it'll get u cracking up!


Dopey @ 10:34 PM | 0 comments

:: ah, another discovery! ::

i believe this belongs to one of the docs in ED now eh..

eh em... interesting read...

courtesy of re-minisce's side links

Dopey @ 7:38 PM | 1 comments

lunedì, aprile 11, 2005

:: cast-off ::

it just took like 2 minutes to remove the cast, and the doc didn't come see me either... if i had known earlier, i would have just gotten it off at SGH... keke... can ask ... to help to remove, muahahahaaa ;) anyway i didn't get to do any of the sawing, i'm not very flexible ie. cannot bend enough at the waist to reach the end of my straighted leg. haha... it was so ticklish! teehee!

the first thing i did was to make sure my calf was still supple... lolz, must exclude DVT, i'm very fearful of PE, especially after the story dr R told us that day!

so now, my foot is erm... smaller... lolz, my muscles have atrophied slightly! euw looks gross! this tiny bulge of muscle under my medial malleolus is GONE... i looked up netters, but i have no idea what tt muscle is supposed to be, i think there isn't supposed to be any muscle there. heck, i got accessory muscle? or perhaps that was just a -lump of fat-!!!

i feel so wobbly now, and damn STIFF. i can't pivot on my foot either, it still hurts and keeps feeling like it'll go into inversion with the slightest force. :( damn, how long am i going to be stuck like this, i wanna go run... and walk the treetop trail... and kayak (ok maybe i can do this still) and SHOP SHOP SHOP!

haha i guess i should stop complaining so much, it's good enough to be free of the heavy cast!

Dopey @ 9:17 PM | 0 comments

domenica, aprile 10, 2005

ah i knew it. the inevitable was bound to happen. dopey has fallen down.... rather ungracefully too, coz of tt stoopid cast.

just one day before cast-off... so unlucky... BBBS

Dopey @ 8:29 PM | 0 comments

shoot. and i thought i could cheer myself up by visiting my friends' blogs... those tt i haven't met for couple of years or only just annually... and guess what...

one's got awful migraines... yea those tt come with photophobia and nausea and last for a day or two... another one's likely to have recurrence of Ca... another one sounds like she's in depression... another one's blog just hinges on being hysterical.

oh dear...

Dopey @ 1:09 PM | 0 comments

sick. disgusted, what an ugly world around me or perhaps, what an ugly me.

pissed...

i think i need to make more masks.

as she spoke, she looked at all those around her, no one seemed to be looking her in the eye. wondering what was in their minds, her voice trailed off... silence. no one seemed to notice it...

i'm so sick and tired of - - - - - - it would be nice to go on a retreat.

'no man is an island' said John Donne... yea, sure and that's what makes life so pretentious.

Dopey @ 12:56 PM | 2 comments

venerdì, aprile 08, 2005

:: an utterly depressing end to a long and depressing week ::

suicides? depression? husband abuse? young guy drowning... student overdose on pills... young lady with possible psychiatric disorder and insomia... elderly labouring so hard to breathe, hemetemesis (vomitting blood), hemoptysis (coughing out blood), AMIs (heart attack), seizures, dislocations, fractures, cancer metastases... i was so looking forwards to the weekend for a good rest and study, but i cannot help feeling rather 'off' by all the recent events. i really like emed, and i could even consider doing next year's elective with the department, but i wonder if i'll be satisfied just to stabilise a patient and then admit or discharge him off... w/o knowing the ultimate outcome? or perhaps, it would be better this way? do what i'm supposed to do, and let the relevant speciality do the rest?

just this week, saw 3 cases that got me quite haiz... even more haiz, is that i refer to them as cases, haiz... sounds so dehumanising... would like to write about them here, but unfortunately a blog is public so it wouldn't be nice of me to do that...

just imagine, you are on holiday, your child meets with an unfortunate accident and the doctors barely manage to bring his heart back in the A&E... then your child gets sent to the ICU... condition: extremely critical. The DNR order was given, with your consent of course... DNR means do not resuscitate, ie. if patient's heart stops, do not do CPR. it's probably one of the saddest things a parent has to do... to decide to let the child die... if the heart fails a second time... check out about DNR it would be useful to learn more about it. so sad so sad... i wonder haiz... perhaps it's all for the best? sigh.

haiz...

now, dopey shall undergo a MOOD SWING!

just blogging so u guys know that i'm still alive. and wenky, yes, i have blood in my veins ok... :/ in case u were wondering, keke, it's not bandung :P can u imagine, just fix an WIDE bore iv cannula in me and u get a running tap of bandung? lolz... oh manz, i'm turning morbid now.

i have the utmost respect for dr N she is so astute and understanding! like wenky was saying, she managed to differentiate chest pain due to anxiety just like that... just snap, one question! woohoo! how did she suspect tt in the first place? and then, today, this pt i saw whose history got me all confused... dr N was like.... oooh she zoomed into all the impt areas just like that, and what impressed me most was that she did it in a way that was very natural, the patient just poured out her problems... i was dumb-founded. i think dr N's one of the most humane docs around, i definitely must give her glowing comments in the feedback form. and i absolutely loved the really effective way she calmed a patient who was in lots of pain (half of which was psychogenic in origin) and set a plug really quickly! wow! my idol manz!

Dopey @ 9:16 PM | 0 comments

lunedì, aprile 04, 2005

:: test your typing speed! can beat me? ::

click here to test your typing speed and see if you can triumph over yours truly.

here's the proof!


oh well, if i ever consider a second job, perhaps secretary?

Dopey @ 11:40 PM | 0 comments

yesterday night, i received one of the best smses every! ok that was two... anyway, one was from my pri school friend and it made a really big difference to me...dunno why, it's that feeling we get suddenly, when u know that someone is actually thinking of you, when you didn't expect it. it was a simple good night message, but it made me really happy :) thanks for the extra emotional booster!
tonight SUCKS big time, cuz all my cg mates are out doing their ambulance runs at the fire station, while i'm stuck at home with the stoopid cast. boohoohoo... i suppose there's this lesson i ought to learn in life.

never never never look forward to something too much, of you'll find yourself deprived of that precise thing!
happened to me once when i was looking forward to the sec 4 reunion and planned it and things like that and then in the end, i kena chicken pox. urgh. oh well, heheh i remembered they didn't manage to start the fire that night! wahahaha so funny... and um, i think there were like 2 guides there too! lolz... (i dun think they'll be reading this blog though. heh)

ok, second event was...

my cousin, to whom i gave just 2 sessions of intensive math coaching has passed her a maths for the first time since a yr and three months! actually i thought she's gonna fail, but i'd hoped that she wouldn't fail as badly... i'm very gratified when i get students such as these, who are keen to learn, serious, driven and work hard! lurve to teach pple like this. looking forward to helping her towards better and better grades... :D

today met dr toh at ward xx (lolz, i was tracking my pt fr ED), he looks just as youthful and non-stressed as ever, how does he do it? that boyish, sheepish, cute look on the face... wht's the anti-aging formula! i want! lolz, i think he stared too hard, i felt like a raggamuffin or sth, cuz i was wearing those disgusting out-of-shape collared over-washed, faded, big white t-shirts the ED forced on us and this pair of really loose (as in if i don't tie triple knots i might risk my pants falling off type) faded (again) blue, wrinkled (no matter how it's ironed, some creases just won't come off). then he said: what are you doing here?

duh.

third event of the day:

dr N.. hehhe the v nice one fr ED violently pushed open the female toilet maindoor while i was pulling it open. and CRASH. kena my other foot. it wasn't painful, but her reaction was hilarious, she was horrified i think... said something like 'oh dear, did i crush (or sth else) yr other foot?' then evil EW remarked abt me becoming a BK in BOTH legs or sth. mph.

castaway... soon...

Dopey @ 10:02 AM | 0 comments

domenica, aprile 03, 2005

:: a comprehensive guide to flipping off ::

Ha.... very interesting ;) i'm sure you guys (doubt many girls will be interested in it?) will be interested to take a look at the finger. it'll take some time to load it's a pdf file... alternatively, click this then right click on 'download a free sample' and 'save target as'...

¡diviértanse, amigos míos!

Dopey @ 3:07 PM | 2 comments

:: 7 more days!! ::

how time flies... or at least i assume it flew... just 7 more days, it's not so bad these days given that i can walk around without the crutch. but it's tiring though, my gastronemii and soleus keep feeling like they're cramping up, especially in the middle of the night and the first thing in the morning :( worse, after a long day of bustling around at the hospital, i cannot massage my leg when i get home! waa... i think my left quads have got a bit more toned, lolz, cuz i tend to lean towards the left to take weight off the right foot.

my plans to get the cast off at SGH have been foiled, i suppose i WILL have to go back to NUH, duh. waste of time... i guess i can't get 'un-casted' like i'd planned to on friday, cuz there's the mx of multiple trauma course and then tutorial in the afternoon, no empty slot to zao. so... saturday's the last day whoever wants to scribble on my cast can do so! so far wenky and ew have done their scribbles...

i'm so jealous that the rest are going on their ambulance runs! i hope they've managed to swap mine for the last week! don't wanna lose out on something so exciting! -_-

Dopey @ 1:48 PM | 0 comments

"Never lie, steal, cheat or drink.
But if you must lie, lie in the arms of the one you love;
If you must steal, steal away from bad company;
If you must cheat, cheat death;
And if you must drink, drink in the moments that take your breath away."


--- from the movie 'Hitch' 2005.

Dopey @ 12:11 AM | 0 comments

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