domenica, dicembre 12, 2004
:: i think i'm a pervert ::they say perverts are people who look normal in all aspects, yet are just psychologically so twisted within... i think i'm one of them.
i used to express what i felt deep within on my face. if i'm happy - i'm happy; if i'm pissed - i'm pissed. now, i don't think i can do that any more. even if i'm all torn up and discouraged inside, people probably still take me as the happy-go-lucky dopey. i wonder, do people take me seriously sometimes, or rather, do i want people to take me seriously? am i just a joke in life? argh... dunno what i'm talking about...
i realised this when i had a good long chat with AGAG. agag kind of pointed out that agag didn't know that i was going through some stuff since i always looked so cheerful in life and in the internet. and i thought, yes i think agag's right, after all, whenever i confide in any friends about my troubles, i tend to complain, express my emotions and dismiss of them within the same breath. maybe that's why people all around me, always think i take the falls in life so easily. actually no, i'm just as damaged as everyone else when such things happen, i am just a pervert who's unable or unwilling to express my emotions... for some reason or another.
i think i'm going crazy... sometimes i think too much, and then i get so confused.... perhaps, it would be better NOT to think, and just live...
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francesca chiu
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on long-term dormicum drip
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4 Comments:
Hey Dopey, you're not a perv - u just don't wear your heart on your sleeve, and that's not wrong. I'm pretty sure some of your friends do know when you're down, although they may ask in open-ended tones like, "Are you ok?". Perhaps it would be good to confide in someone? You've got a lot of good friends to talk to! Go talk to friendly patients!! Some of them will talk their hearts out if you let them, and it could be an opportunity to reciprocate? ;) Sometimes we just need a good listener to open up to, that's all. Or go talk to EW - she's so serious about most things she might open up her motherly instincts for you. OK, I'd better stop this extrapolation, else I'll get in trouble with that scary woman...
Haha .. that almost sounded like a teenage crisis, but don't flatter yourself Dopey, you're WAY older than that! =D Cheer up!!
hey R., u sure it's a good idea for EW to open up her motherly instincts to me? what if i become repressed and withdrawn? lolz... she's gonna have both our heads!
This is EW
Am I really that scary? Well if you have any problems, I will listen... though I must admit that I am hardly the best listener.
yoz EW, don't be pissed by what wenky and i said la... we're just kidding... :D
thanks for offering a listening ear too! i really appreciate it! :D
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