lunedì, febbraio 07, 2005
Disclaimer: This is going to be one of my most forthright blog ever, and has been written in an attempt to staunch all gossips, rumours or speculations about my recently-ended relationship. To all those who are my ‘close’ friends, I am sorely disappointed that some of you have chosen to question others about my r/s, instead of asking me directly. It can only show one thing, you’re either cowards, or you’re not my close friend after all. To others who have persisted in asking me about my r/s especially when you are not in my circle of ‘close’ friends, please, go stick your nose in other people’s affairs, all this prying doesn’t give others a good impression of yourself.Ok, I shall be direct. I am no longer with Nico, and in case you’re having some mental block, I shall say, this relationship has ended. Finito. Terminado. My boyfriend, yes, the Italian one (I heard some of you are just beginning to spread this fact around… a bit WOLS don’t you think?) has gone to Shanghai, China to work, as well as learn Mandarin. He will NOT be coming back to Singapore anytime soon, unless it’s a social visit/business visit. I’m almost certain he’s not likely to be working in Singapore within say, the next few years. Thus, there is NO possibility that we will get back together within the said time frame. Currently, we are maintaining contact via emails, and when he is all settled into his job, back to sms and perhaps calls. This does NOT mean that we are having a long distance relationship. I will just call this a special friendship, one that even I myself cannot say how long it will last.
Now, maybe your mind is rife with questions… and speculations, thus, I shall have an FAQ section:
1. Why are you so practical/xian4shi2? Don’t you think your r/s should stand the test of distance?
That’s me, I am that xian4shi2. I don’t wish to place the r/s on hold or on the strain of long distance. R/s is not the only thing I’m handling in my life you know.
2. Why did you decide to go out with him, knowing well that one day he might leave?
This is so simple, cuz I like him. (Now don’t start asking me why I like him. I like him means I like him. You don’t need to know the rest.) I believe that love is something that you just have to grasp on to. Kinda like carpe diem. Even if he leaves, I still have the fond memories to hold on to, that sure beats running away from your chance at love.
3. I’m astounded, you don’t sound sad at all? Or is it because you never took this r/s seriously?
Ya, I’m not sad cuz I’m a machine. :P People who know me best know that I never do things without a purpose/reason and I definitely don’t take pleasure in wasting time over things that I’m not serious about.
4. I’m surprised that you don’t sound sad, is it because either or both of you already wanted to end this r/s even before he left?
I don’t sound sad cuz the process of healing has already started from within and because I’m such a great masquerader. I would say the actual ‘break up’ speech never happened. Both parties knew we were going to have to part and so we made the best of whatever time was left for us. We wanted to have the best memories to remain with us, even if the other person’s gone.
5. You’re such a b*tch, talking about your r/s like this, don’t you have any sense of privacy/shame?
Sense of privacy? Check this out! Sense of shame? Check this out! Before you claim that I’m such a b*tch, why don’t you take a look around at the rumour mongers who’ve prompted me to write this blog?
6. Were there any other reasons for the break-up?
3rd party? No. Disagreements? Not any that hadn’t already been solved. Quarrels? Nope. Too busy? Definitely not, we get to meet at least once a week. Both of us also do not like a ‘sticky’ bf/gf, once a week’s fine for us.
7. Have you ever regretted this relationship?
No, definitely not. In fact, I would have regretted had I not taken this path. It has done wonders to my self-confidence and my social life!
8. Why did you choose an ‘ang moh’ bf? What’s so good/great about these Caucasians?
This is the question that lots of people love to ask me. It’s somewhat a kind of trend in Singapore. Some people who’ve never met me before probably think I’m some kind of sarong party girl… (What a hilarious joke!) I don’t see anything great/better/superior about Caucasians… they just mostly have non-black eyes and non-black hair and probably sharper noses than us lot. Simply, a person’s looks/nationality/ethnicity aren’t that important to me. I just want a person I can relate to, someone I’m comfortable with, someone with *chemistry*.
9. So how did you get over all the agony?
Well, I realised something important. That even though I’m sad, there are also people around who are sad, and if I could do something to cheer them up, or say something to comfort them, the sadness in me lessens too. It’s a lesson that I hope everyone will learn from. Wallowing in self-pity is the road to intensifying whatever pain you feel, whilst giving your attention to others, not only helps to heal yourself, but also others around you.
10. So do you have a new target now?
Negative. I’m not ready for any relationship.
11. What type of guy do you like?
First and foremost, do not smoke, gamble, womanise. Comparable intellect (not necessarily in terms of paper qualifications, rather, in terms of higher brain function). Looks-wise: not crucial. Height-wise: I’m sure it won’t be too difficult to be taller than me. Character-wise: that’s almost impossible to say… as long as there’s chemistry, then it’s ok.
Finally, I will like to say that this blog is NOT directed at anyone in particular, just me showing how much I hate rumour mongers. I’m also very grateful to my special friend AGAG and my b*tching partner for all they’ve done in the past month or so. If anyone else has any *burning* questions to ask, please write them here. Thanks!
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francesca chiu
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1 Comments:
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