giovedì, marzo 24, 2005
:: when the going gets tough, the tough gets laffing ::
my footprints!
Let's see how many smartypants can guess what these prints mean. heh.
in view of my recent mishap, i've decided to make the 19 more days of itchiness, heat and having to walk, sleep and BATHE in awkward positions better by simply being funny or evil. preferably the second.
episode 1: dopey's hobbles at NUH 'D' Clinic:
Eunice (the motherly receptionist): oh dear, what happened to your leg? still injured? not ok yet? aiyooooo then u still have to do the ECG and the urine tests... how? got such a long journey to hobble.
Me: (@$^&%@^#%$@#$^#@$%) Aiya what to do...
Eunice: U want a wheelchair?
Me: hmmm better not, the clinic is so crowded, very hard to navigate, later crash...
Prune face: come let me take your weight...
Me: [sticks out leg with cast] very heavy leh... better not...
Prune face: oh.
Nurse at ECG station: [fumbles with my pants, feeling up the cast...]
Me: it's a below knee cast... i think the leads got to go like at my knee? can or not?
Nurse: hmmm ok... tries to pull up my pants-leg
Me: @@ STUCK!
episode 2: dopey's run-in with the prof (ps: prof T is looking younger and younger by the day, i've got to ask her for the anti-aging formula soon! who wants as well?)
Prof T: what happened to you?
Me: mumbles about evil step at NTU where lots of other pple have suffered at
Prof T: You should go complain!
Nurse: prof... how come u keep enocouraging pple to complain...
Prof T: nothing to do la...
Me: *blink blink* what's the world becoming?
episode 3: dopey's spontaneous tutorial with mr taxi man.
taximan: oh u sprained your leg huh...
me: ya lor, one small step, din see, then kena liao.
taximan: aiyo, muz be careful mah, so young sprain liao, must take care or else lao liao very pain leh.
me: ya lor... that's y doctor said cast lor...
taximan: gal ah, i teach u a way, last time when i was young right, i always kena sprain la and all that... at night hor, after yr this thing take out liao, you should do this exercise... you turn your feet ten time to the left, ten time to the right then up n down ten time and then u slowly increase to 20 time... sure will work one... very strong next time...
me: ya ya... (sounds like physiotherapy)... ya lor, better try. thanks uncle...
taximan: you try la, sure can la, last time i fell from top of lorry and kena sprain also work for me, u muz take care, dun walk too fast, dun run... pain then use wheelchair k...
me: oh i see...
episode 4: dopey finds new members of her club... aka the Bai Kar Society (BKS)
the BKS is a club for people of all ages, all races, nationalities and sexual orientations... (sorry, the last wasn't very necessary.. anyway)
The first member is a banglaboy who got a fracture at the construction site.
The second member is an Indian lady who's got a toe fracture.
Lady: Hi, you got a fracture?
Me: No, it's just a bad sprain, but quite bad so must cast up. How about you?
Lady: I got a toe fracture.
Me and Lady: how come mine/yrs is a sprain and needs cast and yrs/mine is a fracture and there's no cast? Not even a bandage...
episode 5: dopey at the angiography dpt (TTSH)
Me: How, the cast is too big! Can't fit into any of the clogs/slippers there!
Reema: Here, try this.
Me: Oof*... cannot... too small...
Wenky/Reema: hmmm... let's ask them...
Me: Hey maybe i can put the shoe cover over my cast shoe?
Reema: Great idea!
Me: Oops, cast shoe is too big!
Nice OT nurse: aiyo what you all doing? like a circus like that... Too small? ok i'll go get you the shower cap.
Us: Ok... thanks...
Me: Oh, that's really nice and BIG and it's PINK (and fluffy!)
Finally, I hobble into the prep room to get ready for the procedure... :) thanks pals, W & R.
Wenky's getting very evil, dunno what happened, he wanted to like shove me off the escalator or something, or i think he was thinking of placing me in the wheelchair and shoving me somewhere or something... SO EVIL! but i'm not to be outdone, i could shove the crutch up *somewhere* *evil cackles*
To Be Continued...
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