sabato, luglio 16, 2005
:: ENT clinic ::the clinic assistant fusses around, repeatedly checking the number of each piece of equipment so that it would be 'just right for XYZ and Dr B of course.' she stocks up on the nescafé coffee powder, and locks up the rest in the overhead cupboard, 'all the fuss, have to lock up everything... don't lock up get into trouble. haizzz' she runs out of the clinic... and into the clinic and out again and in again... in a state of tethered nerves.
meanwhile, the medical student looks around curiously, inspects the special binoculars-like equipment used for inspecting the ears, 'no one else's clinic has something like this'. she notes the neatly arranged tongue depressors, thudicum speculums and mirrors... 'why's everything so perfect???' stumped, she looks around for an answer, finding none, she settles back into her comfy corner with the trusted corbridge. after 20 min of waiting for the doc, she gets a bit tired of corbridge and decides to take a closer look at the displays... and sees.... 'in appreciation of Dr B. from abc of Indonesia' and 'otolaryngo--- surgical instruction course'... and it dawns on her... 'AHHHHHH quick get out of the clinic if you want skin left on yr fats!!!'
ahh but it was too late... the eponymous Dr B. enters with a flourish and a 'welcome' before he whips open the file placed in front of him by tremulous hands... before the medical student could catch her breath, the questions came, like punches, hard and fast... very surgical in attitude. oooh.... her confidence crashed to sub zero as she struggles to drag out year 3 surgical information that had been filed into unknown depths to make way for new info... all the while thinking 'where are my synapses? where are my synapses?'
then came the thyroid nodule... 'ok, let's start examination' and Dr B. proceeds to sit down and left the way clear... it was obvious he wanted the student to do it. As she approaches with trepidation and feeling like her hands and feets were cotton balls, the patient looks at her with startlingly trusting eyes... 'oh god... i can't remember anything!' 'do not, DO NOT touch the patient!' she falters, looking at him with um.... questions in her eyes... and then she realises, oh, um... yah, prof rite, he wants a FULL examination, and proceeds to test the reflexes, pulse, for dysthyroid eye disease and so on.... after all that inspection, palpation, percussion and auscultation is over, she thought she was done... but... 'hey, we're in an ENT clinic, you haven't done the ENT examination yet?' patient looks at Dr. B and then at me... 'oh, i have to go back there to sit?' and looks at me with pity in her eyes... maybe her heart went out to me. sigh. the endless barrage of questions did not stop at physical examination, it went on to investigations and management...
ok ok she thought she was doing fine... he wasn't that mean afterall and she was learning... until...
'xyz, the referral form please...'
clinic assistant hands him the form.
'HAIZ. wrong form!'
clinic assistant grabs the form and hands him another one.
'NOT THIS! what's wrong with you? please LOOK at the form before you pass it to me?'
clinic assistant finally hands over the correct form. While Dr B. scribbles (ok, make that write, he writes rather legibly), the patient looks up at the medical student who had aptly and rapidly manoevuered herself out of firing range (ie. behind the Dr) and raises her eyebrows... the medical student offers a single eyebrow raise and a wry-i-think-i-like-to-suffer smile back. the patient nods empathetically... as she got up to leave, 'Next time please use your brain first ok...' 'yes, sorry sorry, dr' the harangued assistant replies. 'why are you so nervous today? don't be so nervous!' 'the XYZ... they're coming...'
'ROARRRRR WAT XYZ?!?! HAVE YOU FORGOTTEN WHY YOU ARE HERE IN THE FIRST PLACE?' his head swings in the direction of the medical student 'TO CARE FOR PATIENTS! PATIENTS COME FIRST! £#%^ THE XYZ' his head swivels between the scared assistant and the bewildered medical student. 'NEVER FORGET WHY YOU ARE HERE... PATIENTS COME FIRST!!!'
finally, at 1215... time to leave for tutorial... the medical student heaves a sigh of relief, but on retrospect, doesn't mind doing a clinic session with Dr B. again. maybe she felt the skinning was worth it cuz she learnt, or maybe she was (oh, still is) into masochism (without the sex part).
PS: does anyone know the word for a person who likes to inflict pain/suffering on himself? (without the sex part)
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francesca chiu
2 eyebags & 5 wrinkles
on long-term dormicum drip
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